What does “science is real” (on those “in this house we believe …” signs) mean, anyway? Is the claim that science is real in the way jujutsu is real—as in, this is a thing that people do? Surely the claim is stronger than that.

Maybe the idea is that this thing, science, that scientists do has a “real” impact on the world. Science as a set of epistemic practices that inform public policy. You know, like eugenics.

But most likely, the intended meaning isn’t about the existence or impact, but rather that the claims scientists make about the world are true (notice how the word “real” doesn’t appear in this sentence). Unfortunately, I have trouble with this reading too:

• Sometimes scientists are mistaken, as they were when they claimed that AIDS only affected gay men.
• Sometimes scientists are not merely mistaken, but also fail to take advantage of well-known methodological improvements that would make it harder to get published.
• And sometimes scientists just straight up commit fraud.

The real meaning of “in this house we believe science is real” is, I believe, “in this house, we believe that something must be done to stop anthropogenic climate change.” Why not just say that, so I can agree with you instead of getting pissed off?