In honor of Labor Day, here are my workplace rules of engagement:

1. I try not to suck. I have not “quiet quit.” I have a personal investment in my work and hope to be known as a quality professional.
2. At the same time, I won’t be consumed by my work. I’m here for a long time, not a good time. I employ various psychological and technological devices to ensure my work life doesn’t interfere with all the other things I want to accomplish.
3. Accordingly, if we find ourselves working together and you approach me with warmth, openness, and collaborative energy; treat me as an equal; and take my actions in good faith, then I will do my best to match your stance.
4. And if you approach me with a clinical, detached attitude; or try to initiate status transactions against me; or signal that you consider my perspective to be a nuisance; or sexually harass me, you creep, then I will activate an appropriate set of defenses. You might not experience the closeness or humor that I share with other colleagues.
5. My defenses do not necessarily represent a judgment against you. Your detachment and pretend objectivity may be a reasonable adaptation to our environment in light of your temperament and life goals.
6. But you also can’t count my guardedness as a mark against me. I am only fighting for my life.